On Contemplation

This morning in seminary we talked about avoiding pride. I thought it ironic that this morning I seemed to be kind of prideful when I answered questions. I wasn't very happy with myself. For the remaining ten minutes or so of seminary after I figured out that I wasn't being very Christ-like, I didn't answer any more questions. I just want to remember that I'm not better than anyone else. I regret to say that I have a big problem with that. I seem to forget that others are valued just as much as I am in God's eyes. Anyway....

I let Jeremy open my door out of the church, and my emo-ish friend, Violet, kind of freaked out and was like, "Be independent! Don't depend on males!" And I just didn't like it very much. Jeremy likes to open my doors. I like for guys to open my doors. So what's the big deal? I didn't respond very nicely to her freaking out, either. I wasn't proactive, I was reactive. If you've ever read "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens", that will makes sense to you. I didn't respond charitably. I was disappointed in myself, to say the least. So I just left and started walking home without really saying bye to anyone.

On the way home, in about 20 seconds, my thought process went something like this: I was feeling ashamed of myself for acting so prideful and un-Christ-like, and I couldn't believe I would do that, and I expected better of myself and all that great stuff. Then I thought about how at least I recognized my flaws and faults, and that way I can improve on them. I also thought about how I really am a wonderful daughter of God with spiritual gifts and talents, and Heavenly Father recognizes them. He knows I'm not evil and malicious just because I reacted unkindly. I also thought about how my friend, Reed, told me that I'm able to see the silver lining in every cloud. That made me feel better. I certainly try to see the best of things. That also reminded me of a line from an Owl City song: "Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining." And so they do, we just have to look high enough to find them. And so, I am looking at the silver lining of this situation. I have recognized what I need to repent of, and now I right my wrongs, and replace those bad habits and un-Christ-like thoughts with better ones. =] How wonderful the atonement is, eh?

I told Jeremy all this on the way home from seminary, and he said, "WOW! All that in 20 seconds? Contemplative doesn't even begin to cover it!" I thought that was funny. How the differences between males and females make me laugh. Ahaha.

So, that's my little thought shpeel for today. Hope you enjoyed being inside my head for just a little while. =]